On The Other Side, Is Freedom

No one is at home and I'm home alone today. Yeah!! I get to watch my favourite Korean drama, Coffee Prince. Today I want to finish watching all the 17 episodes because I really want to know the ending. But before that, let me indulge in my favourite Chocolate Indulgence cake from Secret Recipe. Mmmmmmm....

So I went down stairs to the kitchen to take my cake. My stomach was making some strange noise like it was yelling at me to grab that cake NOW and stuff it into my mouth. How greedy! Can't you just wait.

It was dark and I switched on the lights. Just as I was about to open the fridge, I heard a sound like someone was knocking on my kitchen door. Who could be knocking my kitchen door at this hours? I was too scared to open the door. What if it was some robber or some psychotic serial killer. I realised my stomach wasn't making noise anymore but instead my heart was beating so fast. My stomach is such a meanie!!!

Someone was knocking the door continuously. I just stood near my fridge feeling extremely scared. I didn't want to move because if I moved the person outside could see my shadow and would follow me. I should just sit down and wait until he gets fed up and goes off.

I sat there for 15 minutes and the person was still knocking the door. Doesn't he get tired knocking the door. This man must be crazy for knocking my door continuously. I didn't have the courage to even peep at the window and see who it was. Maybe I should crawl on the floor until I reach the stairs and run upstairs to my room. But I am really too scared to do that. Oh, I was dying in fear sitting here.

How stupid can this person be. Why don't he just walk to the window and peep inside or try breaking the window. But if he does that, he could see me hiding here. This is just too scary. Life is so cruel. Hwaaaa ;(.

It's almost half and hour now, but this maniac hasn't stopped knocking the door. I really want to pee now. I'll divert my mind and think about something so I won't be scared and I won't feel like peeing. Good idea.

I thought about the time when I was so scared when situations like this occurred. I would just pull my comforter over my face and close my eyes when I hear creepy noises. I don't have a comforter now. This is horrible. Oh god... why am I thinking of things that increases my fear. Divert....divert.

Then I remember reading an excerpt from a book I bought few weeks ago. Life's Missing Instruction Manual by Joe Vitale. Be Not Afraid. It was about fear. It says fear stops us from doing what we want. The mind terrifies us with scenarios that makes us afraid of what we want to do, like going for a date, attending a job interview and etc.

It sure does stop me from looking at who's knocking the door. Do the thing you wish, and walk through the fear. On the other side, is freedom. I recalled that line in the book. Guess I can't be sitting here all night. I must look through that window or just open the door and see who's knocking the door. I should free myself from this fear.

I took a deep breath, stood up and walked to the door, very, very slowly. My heart was still beating fast. I held the knob and opened the door. No one was there. No one was standing outside the door. Where did that person go?

I closed the door. Again I heard the knocking sound. I opened the door and again there was no one out there. Strange. Then I found out who made the knocking sound. The stupid padlock on the grill was making that sound. I forgot to lock my grill and left the padlock hanging loose on the grill. It was the wind that made the padlock hit the door and caused that continuous knocking sound.

Stupid wind. Stupid padlock. No.. stupid me. Fearing for nothing. I realised how fear made me a fool. This is a good lesson for me.

I thought about how I overcame my fear a few minutes ago to see who was knocking the door, and finally found out there was no serial killer out there and only fear made me hide and hold my pee. I got my freedom now, freedom from fear.

Then I thought about 9th July 2011. All those fearless people who where there to fight for the rights. I'm so proud of all of them. Do the thing you wish, and walk through the fear. On the other side, is freedom.

And then I thought....what the hell, I need to finish the 17 episodes today.

Life is not scary...There is nothing to fear.